Story Extract

Sleep Treatment 2nd Trial: Story Extract

“Day 30:

Uncontrollably excited as I wait for my second trial dose of sleep treatment. I have spent the last 29 days looking forward to being in complete bliss once again. I wonder if I can be with him again.”

I lay on the crisp clean bedspread. My fingers trail a lazy path against the side of my hip. Just trying to distract myself from the worst part of this test. I hate needles and they need me cannulated just in case. I can feel the sweat on my palms as I wait anxiously alongside the bustling nurses. I just took two purple tablets and I don’t feel a thing. Last time I’m sure my whole body felt vibrant. Maybe it’s because I know what to expect, maybe I just want the doctor to hurry up with the knock out gas.

The nurse is talking to me but I try to block her out as she takes my hand and swipes an anaesthetic wipe over the back of it. I cringe and flinch as the sharp tip of the needle pierces my skin, I’m holding my breath as the bottom of my feet start sweating too. Please let the worst be over. I let my breath out in a rush and drag in a much needed lungful as soon as the tape is secure. I open one eye to watch her test the cannula with the saline water. My arm tremors ever so slightly at the cold liquid going through my vein. My body shivers, then I relax into the pillow.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been waiting, but the monitor beside me looks steady as it reads my respiration and heart rate. I watch my heart rate flicker between 80-85bpm. Suddenly the doctor appears and I think everything is ready for me to take another walk in my perfect dreamland. I can feel the strap of the face mask resting on the top of my ears and I don’t like where the plastic mask sits on the bridge of my nose but it’s well worth it for my scheduled 20 minute voluntary induced sleep session. I count backwards from 10 but everything begins to get hazy when I get to 6. I think I am still counting when everything goes black as my eyelids close. I feel my head lull to the side and wait for the sunlight to come back, for the sand to tickle the undersides of my feet, for the rush of welcoming warmth that I was greeted with at my first trial.

But it’s still dark. My eyes begin to adjust as it seems this time my imagination will be welcoming me with a beautiful evening. I walk along the riverbed and admire the swinging lanterns above my head. I’m still waiting for everything to fall into place when all of a sudden I slip and splash, my bag falls straight into the water. I run along as the current carries it downstream, my eyes scan the surroundings whilst I wonder when someone will jump out to save me. Feeling a bit out of breath but with a stroke of luck, my bag catches on a clump of moss. I look around but there’s still no one here. I sigh and realise there’s no one out to help me tonight so I lie on the grassy verge and stretch.

All of a sudden I feel a pair of hands grab me by the ankles and throw me head first into the water. I scream as the river pulls at me. I taste the earthy water and try to calm down. My heart is racing, my lungs are fighting. I feel anger course through me instead of fear. I should be scared as hell because I know I can’t swim, but I hear laughter and I’m not sure who would find this funny. I keep splashing and gulping both air and water at the same time, recognition hits me as his throaty laugh pierces through me. I scream once again as he grabs me by the hip and spins me around to face him. Before I even look, I know it is him.

I throw my arms around his neck with a grin on my face as I kiss him over and over again. Then I remember what he did and I try to push away as I beat at his broad, topless chest. I feel exhilarated, breathless, alive and grateful. I’m bursting with adrenaline and love. I thought he was gone forever, now in the past 30 days I have been given the chance to spend a few more moments with him. His arms keep a firm hold on me as he looks at me like he’s never letting go again. I give up my fight and lean into the crook of his neck and inhale his honey sweet scent. I’ve missed him so much. I run my hands through his hair and gasp when his lips graze my neck. All thoughts of safety and anger fade as I absorb the goodness from his presence.

Then the soothing voices surround me and I realise my time is up. My second treatment has ended and I feel cheated of my time, but I am peaceful and calm and grinning from ear to ear as my eyes squint at the dimmed light. The nurse strokes my forehead as she tells me to go back to sleep whilst they monitor me for a few more hours.

“Day 31

I’m still floating like a cloud as I relive every second with him. I can’t wait until day 60 when my third trial starts and I get another 10minutes added to my session. 30 whole precious minutes. I feel great. I want to keep living and I feel loved again.”

Written by Ling Lee (27/05/14).

The sleep treatment is designed to help relieve stress, help cure depression and other mental and psychological issues. Trial 2 was supposed to be good things only, but fear was induced. My idea is, the longer my character is induced, the more complicated her thoughts become… A fresh idea. I already know what will happen if I continue with this piece.

I feel proud of this piece of work because I haven’t been able to find the time or mentality to even try for such a long time. I hope I can did more quiet time soon. Please feel free to comment. Every comment is very much valued and necessary for improvement. Thank you for your time and support.

Categories: Story Extract, Writing Ideas | Tags: | Leave a comment

The Woman I Call Mummy: Story Extract

“The scent of sugar and pastries waft in the air leaving my mouth gaping open as I try to eat everything I can smell. My mouth waters whilst my belly rumbles as I consciously unwrap my arms from around my thin body. My cheeks ache from the forced smile on my face. My eyes concentrate solely on the woman I call Mummy. I watch her make her way round the school fundraiser, chattering away to every mother and child as she encourages them to buy raffle tickets and all the sugary goodness on sale.

I flinch ever so slightly as her fingers ruffle the next child’s hair, subconsciously I rub the sore patch on the back of my head from my so called accident. She looks at me and before she can ignore my presence, another mother has just noticed me and urges her to give me a chocolate covered donut from her stall. As her lips curl up into a smile, I can see the fire and hatred in her eyes. I squint away my tears and skip toward her.

She leans over with her arms outstretched as she awkwardly holds me by the shoulders and pulls me toward her. Her lips meet the top of my head but I can feel her tense and grit her teeth as she lingers for just a second before standing up tall again. Glancing around, she plasters that grin back on her face as the same woman tells her what a wonderful child she has. I feel the slightest flicker of warmth in my heart, then that familiar ache settles in my chest as I remember mother will never love me…”

Written by Ling Lee (19/10/13)

Categories: Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: | Leave a comment

Broken Dreams: Story Extract

“I’ve fallen hard and there’s no one around to hear my hysterical outburst. My heart is pounding, looking for a way to escape from my body because the pain has become too much to endure. Tears stream from my eyes and mucus runs from my nose but I only have two hands that can’t keep up with the wiping. My lungs are fighting for breath but I wish I could just stop breathing.

I think this is me giving up. With a dream too far away to reach and any hopes have been shattered like a crystal glass. Hope is a beautiful thing but once it’s broken, it splinters into too many pieces to put back together. Don’t get too close to the broken pieces because every piece hurts, reminding me of the hope that once was.

With a hollow, empty stare my reflection mocks me in the glass window. Transparent, almost invisible just like me in this world. I see the first fold at the corner of my eyes and I feel the weight of my 30years crash down on me. My first wrinkle as a reminder of the hardships I’ve been through. Another tear slides across my cheek as I accept my fate and clench my jaw, biting against the emotional torture, fighting for control once more…”

Written by Ling Lee (16/10/13)

One day when you look into the mirror and suddenly see all that is real. Wishing to turn back the years only to make the same mistakes all over again. I see laughter and smiles all outside of my reach. It hurts that much more to see it but not have it. Life means nothing without happiness.

Categories: Depression, Story Extract, The Darkness | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Fallen: Story Extract

“Battling to block out the incessant cries, sporting hooligans howling through the speakers and the bickering. My need for quiet time has long ago passed. I sit here with tears full to the brim, concentrating with all the energy I have left to stop them from spilling over. Mentally trying to keep from losing control, I count, I recite my peaceful mantra, I breathe in and out slowly. Then the screaming and whining breaks through my last barrier and all hell breaks loose.

Shrieking whirlwinds whip around me, blurring my vision until the tears mingle with my burning eyes. Despair and hatred fuse together fighting to control my life. I’m slipping deeper and deeper into the recesses of darkness and I don’t think anyone is around to hear my pleas. Crumbling into a heap on the floor, tears pour through me from the depths of my heart.

I’m not even sure if it’s the stress, or the sadness, or regret, or defeat that has finally brought me down. I don’t think I have the strength to pick myself up to try again. Every step and every turn comes with more destruction and pain for me to endure. I’m not sure this torture is worth it if my life is made up of such bad times. I just want a moment of peace and a reminder of why I should bother trying to stand tall once again…”

Written by Ling Lee (12/08/13).

Everyone looks at my exterior and no one can see past the smile etched so painfully across my face. When a tear threatens to fall, I laugh out loud and wish I could as easily wipe away my sorrows.

Categories: Depression, Random Thoughts, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Hazy Reality: Story Extract

“A rush of warmth flushes across my cheeks as your image flickers through my mind. In a hazy blur of black,white and colour; a mixture of reality and a dream, you give me one of your rare but heart melting smiles. I love how one corner of your mouth always lifts higher just as you discreetly wink at me past all the oblivious others.

It doesn’t matter that you have gone from my reality because I see you by my side at every turn. I hear the song that reminds me of you, I feel your touch when you used to hold my hand. I smile as I imagine what you are doing. I close my eyes to a whole different life, where you and I belong together as one.

When I sing and dance to my favourite songs, you mouth the lyrics and tap your foot along with my tunes. When I cruise around the dark winding roads you used to drive through, I feel the rush, my heart flutters just like it did every time I saw your face.

So here I am, laying alone in the darkness, with a smile across my face. No matter how difficult my reality is, I look forward to my beautiful nights filled with happiness, laughter and most important of all, love.”

Written by Ling Lee (07/08/13).

Inspired by someone important in my life. Even though out of reach and out of my life, there’s still a way to be with your loved ones if only you open your mind and follow where your heart wants to lead you.

I hope you all find something to smile about 🙂 Thank you for reading. Apologies for my super short extracts. I am trying to work out how to gain some quiet time to concentrate and to dive into making my dream come true.

Categories: Secrets, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Summer Sadness: Story Extract

“On a hot summer day with the wind breezing gently through my hair, I hear children running and playing through the park. On a day like this I should have a smile on my face, lying on a blanket with a good book and a cool drink by my side. So with all the energy I can muster, my lips tighten into more of a grimace than a smile. Inside I am crumbling as my heart bleeds the tears that I cannot let slip through my eyelids. I close my eyes and look up into the sky, sunlight pierces through the darkness, blinding me but I still feel the raw ache in my chest. Crying out a silent prayer I wish for the pain to subside. I wish to feel nothing because having nothing and feeling nothing is better than this torment of darkness and misery. Every step I take feels like I’m dragging myself through a pool of water, cold and heavy footed, a transparent force pushing against my every move. With every breath I fight for air. I feel like I’m drowning but there’s no one there to help me.”

Written by Ling Lee (24/07/13).

One of my shorter extracts but I was cut off mid stride and now have not only a splitting headache but also a frustration that cannot be described. I hate losing concentration and being distracted from my end goal. But here is today’s piece.
I apologise for ruining a perfectly beautiful warm evening with my negative outbursts but this is what wants to be written.

Categories: Depression, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | Leave a comment

The Darkness: Story Extract

“Every waking moment I feel a huge void in my chest. The emptiness just eats away at me and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I just want to be completely alone in total silence, without people, or birds or even the wind to distract me.

Engulfed by this dark aura, draining my will to live. I can hear it’s metallic tinkle of a laugh, mocking my existence. Waiting patiently to claim my lost soul. I’m drifting in frustration because there is still one thing left to live for, but the bad outweigh the good times so I’m not sure if my battle is worth fighting for.

Every sound is breaking me. The banging from the neighbour’s garden work is driving me insane. I want to head over and smack her with the shovel. I can feel the blood rushing through my veins, pumping and urging me to do it. I can see the darkness embrace me, welcoming me with open arms into it’s realm.

Every word that comes out of his mouth makes me want to sew his lips together so he can never upset me again. The darkness gives me a shove, encouraging me to act out my malicious thoughts. I hold on to my sense of morality and slowly count to 10. I hope the darkness passes, before I hurt one of those who have been making my life hell.

I still know what is right and what’s wrong, but it seems like everyone likes to balance and teeter in between. Soon I will fall one way or the other. It’s a shame good things just don’t like to come my way…”

Written by Ling Lee (17/07/13).

The darkness must be a wonderful place to be. When you no longer have to fight with the devil in you. But to laugh and to do as you please to anyone or anything who stands in your way.

I’m not sure if this means I’m becoming more lost by the day. Or if this is where my work likes to lead me. On a quest to fight the darkness and to emerge a better person, a better writer and a better soul.

Categories: Depression, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | Leave a comment

The Crying Child Smiles: Story Extract

“Woken by a muffled cry in the middle of the night, I sit up and peer into the darkness of my bedroom. The 13th night in a row and I’m starting to get worn out from these random awakenings.

I live on my own in this tiny little apartment that I don’t really consider home. No warmth and no love, just a shelter over my head and a place to store my necessities. The room I sleep in has a mattress on the floor, a bedside cabinet with a dim lamp, and a pile of creased clothes in a laundry basket.

At 35 years old having accomplished so much only to lose it all over one simple, irreversible mistake. Now I spend my days moping, trying to pull myself together and start all over again. It’s been nearly 2 years since she walked out on me. I begged for a second chance, I swore I would never do it again, I promised to give her anything she could ever ask for. But she said what I did was unforgivable, so now I deserve every waking moment of despair for breaking her heart.

The nightly cries are driving me crazy. It must be one of the neighbours with a young infant. I guess I should count myself lucky it only cries once a night. I’m not sure I could live many more days of my hellish life alongside a constantly crying kid to remind me of my sorrows.

Getting up, half stumbling and half groping across the lack of furnishing, I make my way into the bathroom for a quick drink under the tap. Being jobless with my savings dwindling almost to nothing, every penny counts.

As I look into the mirror, my distorted reflection stares back at me in a blurry mess. With the tap still running, I splash cold water on my face then run my hand across the countertop for a flannel. Jerking my hand back and swearing as my fingers make contact with the razor blade, I suck on the blood and make my way back to bed in the dark.

What an awful nights sleep. Tossing and turning, dreaming of crying babies and an abandoned child. I wake with a tear running down my face as sunlight filters through the window to greet me. I never thought of myself ever wanting a child, but the dreams were so real I can still feel the loss with a lump in my throat and a twisted feeling in my gut.

Today must be the first day in the last 2 years when I have woken up feeling something other than regret. Today I feel like I must do something meaningful because I feel like I found a strand of will to live again.

Getting up and being able to see is the first thing I’m thankful for. Heading into the bathroom I stand in front of the sink and decide I should probably start my new day by shaving. I wipe up the dried blood droplets from the night before and check my finger only to find it all healed up with a faint line as a reminder. If it wasn’t for the dried blood I would never believe it. What a quick recovery.

I look into the mirror and standing right beside me I see the child from my dream smiling at me. Jumping to my left I crash into the bedroom landing butt first on the floor, I look for the child only to find an empty room and my heart beating out of my chest…”

Written by Ling Lee (17/07/13).

Taking another turn in my work. I hope this worked and I hope you know what I am trying to get at. I feel like I might be too scared to write any more on this extract but this story is bursting to be written. I have a whole idea in my head but I keep scaring myself out of writing it. Did this piece work for you? I hope you all enjoyed this read! Once again, thank you for reading my work.

Categories: Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Inner Demon: Story Extract

“A blinding pain sears through my temples, pounding away behind my eyeballs. Eyelids clamped tightly shut, bloodshot, tortured eyes, crying out for relief.

Alongside the agony I can feel a presence grow stronger. Another me, fighting to escape, full of anger, revenge and darkness. All the bad times I have endured, every wrong inflicted upon my life. There’s a being inside of me growing stronger by the day, bursting to erupt into the real world outside of my imagination. Waiting to release all the pent up frustration, the built up stress, fed up of being walked all over.

I can see the once secure restraints slowly unfold as the frenzied cackling grows louder. I hear screaming and laughter in one unified voice. A fistful of long black hair laying limp in my hand and a slight burning sensation at the back of my scalp.

Tears roll down my cheeks whilst my hatred burns out from within, finally getting a taste of the real world. Then I find my self control and force my dark self to withdraw back into the recesses of my mind. I’m not ready to be taken away just yet. But my days are numbered as every time I lose control, my inner demons grow stronger…”

Written by Ling Lee (12/07/13).

Self control can easily be broken when to many stresses and strains take its toll. The pain is real, the inner demon is real. I love the idea of having something contained within us that fights to escape. Of seeing yourself struggle to keep it from taking over your life. This piece could easily be developed as schizophrenic character, or just an emergence of a psychopath. Too many ideas and too little time to voice myself…

Thanks again for your time and support! As always, please leave your comments 🙂

Categories: Depression, Secrets, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

The Flying Messenger: Story Extract

“A flutter of delicate wings fly across the lake. Her dainty little feet dip just below the surface, tracing an intricate pattern across the water. A dusting of sparkles fall from her wings, the sign to tell her sisters it’s safe to come out and play. She peers into the depths of the water, fidgeting in anticipation. A slight ripple of waves wash under her as her sisters rise up to the surface.

Moonlight shimmers across the lake as the rippling waves dance with the beautiful night creatures. A golden mass of hair cascades down her bare back whilst she cuts through the surface of the water to join her winged sister. With a mischievous grin she splashes and aims straight for Skyla’s translucent wings.

Darting away from the droplets of water, not wanting to spend another night sitting out from the fun, Skyla keeps her wings tucked away behind her back, dodging to the side and jumping onto a nearby rock. With her hand on one hip and a serious look on her face, she wiggles her index finger from side to side before bursting into a fit of giggles. The rest of her water sisters swim closer to join her, circling the rock that she’s sitting on.

Swimming in a jumble of arms and fins, the girls all chatter and fight for Skyla’s attention. Everyone wants to be the chosen one for a chance to walk mother nature’s earth…”

Written by Ling Lee (06/07/13).

I’m hoping to one day write more than one novel. With Faeries, Mermaids and other beautiful creatures who are all on a quest to save their realm from disappearing. They must remind human children that they exist. If no one believes in them then their species slowly but surely fall into a trance and become lost in a time of their own.

Categories: Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.