Secrets

Hazy Reality: Story Extract

“A rush of warmth flushes across my cheeks as your image flickers through my mind. In a hazy blur of black,white and colour; a mixture of reality and a dream, you give me one of your rare but heart melting smiles. I love how one corner of your mouth always lifts higher just as you discreetly wink at me past all the oblivious others.

It doesn’t matter that you have gone from my reality because I see you by my side at every turn. I hear the song that reminds me of you, I feel your touch when you used to hold my hand. I smile as I imagine what you are doing. I close my eyes to a whole different life, where you and I belong together as one.

When I sing and dance to my favourite songs, you mouth the lyrics and tap your foot along with my tunes. When I cruise around the dark winding roads you used to drive through, I feel the rush, my heart flutters just like it did every time I saw your face.

So here I am, laying alone in the darkness, with a smile across my face. No matter how difficult my reality is, I look forward to my beautiful nights filled with happiness, laughter and most important of all, love.”

Written by Ling Lee (07/08/13).

Inspired by someone important in my life. Even though out of reach and out of my life, there’s still a way to be with your loved ones if only you open your mind and follow where your heart wants to lead you.

I hope you all find something to smile about 🙂 Thank you for reading. Apologies for my super short extracts. I am trying to work out how to gain some quiet time to concentrate and to dive into making my dream come true.

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Inner Demon: Story Extract

“A blinding pain sears through my temples, pounding away behind my eyeballs. Eyelids clamped tightly shut, bloodshot, tortured eyes, crying out for relief.

Alongside the agony I can feel a presence grow stronger. Another me, fighting to escape, full of anger, revenge and darkness. All the bad times I have endured, every wrong inflicted upon my life. There’s a being inside of me growing stronger by the day, bursting to erupt into the real world outside of my imagination. Waiting to release all the pent up frustration, the built up stress, fed up of being walked all over.

I can see the once secure restraints slowly unfold as the frenzied cackling grows louder. I hear screaming and laughter in one unified voice. A fistful of long black hair laying limp in my hand and a slight burning sensation at the back of my scalp.

Tears roll down my cheeks whilst my hatred burns out from within, finally getting a taste of the real world. Then I find my self control and force my dark self to withdraw back into the recesses of my mind. I’m not ready to be taken away just yet. But my days are numbered as every time I lose control, my inner demons grow stronger…”

Written by Ling Lee (12/07/13).

Self control can easily be broken when to many stresses and strains take its toll. The pain is real, the inner demon is real. I love the idea of having something contained within us that fights to escape. Of seeing yourself struggle to keep it from taking over your life. This piece could easily be developed as schizophrenic character, or just an emergence of a psychopath. Too many ideas and too little time to voice myself…

Thanks again for your time and support! As always, please leave your comments 🙂

Categories: Depression, Secrets, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Wanting You: Story Extract

“Gazing out at the lake, moonlight glimmers across the rippling water. Every movement creating a new sprinkle of light as it dances through the night.

My eyes look through the windscreen but my mind is captured by your presence. Trying to suppress the grin from spreading across my face, I glance sideways where you sit relaxed, with your body turned towards me and your back leaning against the driver’s side door. Our eyes meet and a tingle runs all over my body, skimming across my skin as though your hungry eyes have touched me.

A flush of heat rushes through me, lingering on my cheeks as I blush and look away. My hands lay restless in my lap whilst my mind remains confused. I don’t know if I should leave my hand on the edge of the seat or if I should keep them clamped together in my lap, fully aware of the sweat building in my palm.

I can feel you looking at me, my heart thumps loud and fast. I’m both nervous and excited to be so close to you. It feels like time has stopped and the only thing in the world that matters right now is you. I can hear my breath become rapid and shallow as I struggle to control my most basic needs. I wonder if you feel it too.

Glancing your way, I see your eyes connect with mine, my heart pounds an unfamiliar beat. I bite my lower lip to keep from grinning like a fool at you. Suddenly you lean forward, close enough so I can feel your breath stroke my burning cheeks.

Your eyes demand my undivided attention and somewhere in between, your fingers have wound through my hair, tracing slow, gentle circles at the nape of my neck. Gripping the edge of my seat for balance, I’m afraid to break the spell. Finally something good is mine. I see you close your eyes and feel your lips brush mine, soft and warm. Our first kiss, leaving me wide eyed and wanting more…”

Written by Ling Lee (13/06/13).

Something beautiful in life. Just a simple kiss making every bad thing disappear if only for a single moment.

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My Reason to Smile: Story Extract

“In a drugged up haze of cough mixtures, throat sweets and paracetamol. His eyelids fight to stay open, forehead streaked with his sweaty fringed hair, in this state he still looks handsome.

I smile inwardly and wish I could take away a little of his suffering. It’s funny how men act all brave and mighty, then the flu brings them down hard on both knees. It’s nice to be needed. With a warm flannel, I wipe his forehead and face.

I love the way his jaw relaxes and his lips part just a fraction. I can see the tip of his tongue resting on his lower lip, I long for his kiss. I watch my gentle giant sleep, the only time he ever stays still is when he’s fast asleep. I love to listen to his steady breaths, not quite a snore, but long heavy breaths. I watch his chest rise and fall. Placing my hand just above his heart, I feel the peaceful rhythm thump under my palm. I love lying on his chest, listening to the beat, having him to myself for just a moment more.

He takes a sudden staggered breath and curls up beside me. I stroke his hair and lean in to smell his musky scent, without all the sweet cologne he favours. I love the way he smells. I love the way he makes me feel all giddy and warm. He makes me feel alive and excited, his unpredictable, fun loving nature brings out the child in me. Everything about him is all about the present, there’s no need to think of the past and no time to think of the future. I’m lucky enough to have found the love of my life. I kiss his cheek and wrap his arms around me, cherishing each and every moment with my beloved…”

Written by Ling Lee (11/06/13).

The feelings in this piece are from a major part of my life. This extract is all about the love I felt, the warmth and the goodness because that’s all I let myself remember. My reason to smile.

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Blood Thirst: Story Extract

“What a dark night, without a single star to decorate this open canvas, only the moon shining proud and strong.

I instinctively sniff the air for my next meal of fresh human blood. Starved for days in a hope to kill my addiction but this feral need has taken control. The faint smell of warm iron flooding through a body, I hear her heart pump an erratic beat as her feet pounds the pavement, with every other beat, exhaling in bursts of breathlessness.

She is running for all the wrong reasons. She should be running away from me but her scent grows stronger with every step closer towards me, oblivious to danger. My face twitches as I fight to keep my canines from appearing. Sweat drips from the back of her ear, down her neck. I tilt my head back and close my eyes, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. Realising my mistake as her scent travels through my nose up my nostrils, hitting me right in the gut as my canines painfully extend.

Razor sharp nails cut into my palms as I struggle to stop myself from rushing over and draining her life right before her very eyes. The pain in my hands not nearly enough to distract me from my hunger for her blood. I watch her with a predatory snarl, straining against my humanity. I don’t want to kill her but in my current state she doesn’t have a chance. I can almost feel the skin on her neck against my lips, taste the iron warmth trickle into my mouth. My throat is dry, very dry. My tongue darts across my teeth, desperate for a taste of her life.

Two and a half days, the longest I have managed without blood so far. Now I leave that thought behind as I slip through the shadows to quench both my thirst and hunger.

Her eyes wide in shock, gazing right at me, I don’t know why I’m looking at her. Guilt crushes me as I feel her beg me to stop through the gurgling blood in her throat. I hesitate for a second as her eyes call out a silent plea, my breath catches as I realise she is still alive. Her heart still beating a light pitter patter and her breathing is staggered. I slow to a stop as I cradle her limp body against my own. I lick her wounds closed. Her life floods through my veins as her eyes drift open and closed, with every blink I feel my strength return.

I realise this is the first time I have fed without killing. Now I pace frantically considering my options. I can’t erase her mind now that she has fallen unconscious in my arms, I can’t risk leaving her out in the street in case she wakes to remember me. I don’t want to kill her which leaves me two choices. Do I take her back to my house or hers? …”

Written by Ling Lee (14/05/13).

Exactly the kind of writing I’ve been waiting to write. My love for vampires grows with every book, every movie and every scene I can imagine in my thoughts. I hope this is something that you might want to read more of. Thank you all for reading 🙂 x

Categories: Fiction, Secrets, Story Extract, Things I love, Vampires, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

Smiling Through Tears: Story Extract

“The darkness has claimed me as its own. Heavy hearted, full of sorrow and regret for everything that my life has become. Each smile hides a million tears, just waiting for the first drop to fall before all the other drops follow in a flood.

If anyone really cared or really loved me they’d see behind this facade. Anyone who looked into my eyes would see the pain etched upon my every feature except for my deceiving smile.

Gritting my teeth as my lips are forced to lift. I wish I could brighten my darkened soul. The miserable cold reminds me of my eternal loneliness. The path I have chosen to walk will destroy me, but it feels like it’s too far to turn back.

Depression settles within me, like death sucking away at life. My feet feel rooted to the floor as every step forward takes all the effort I can muster. This broken smile is the only thing left of my former self. This smile is the only thing stopping me from destroying everyone in my path. Nothing matters any more, no one can help me any more…”

Written by Ling Lee

Depression is a constant invisible force. It drains you, it controls you and it destroys any hope of happiness you may have. Look into the eyes of the person you care for most, don’t let them face the darkness alone. Help them before they get lost and never find their way back to you…

Categories: Depression, Secrets, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | 2 Comments

In the Club: Story Extract

“Tapping my feet in turn to the beat of the song, I’m itching to get up and do my thing on the dance floor. I watch as the sheen of sweat on their bodies sway, and snake around one another, a gentle brush here and a light touch there. Teasing and grinning at each other, the music pounding away, freeing themselves from the troubles of the day. Other bodies dance a whole different freestyle, grinding and grasping, their bodies moulded together as one. Stray eyes wander, wanting to see more of that delicate skin on display, hoping to get a dance in for themselves. 

The DJ stands, head bopping at his set, scanning the crowd relishing their enjoyment at his choice of tunes. Catching the eye of a lone girl, dancing away in the centre of the club floor, he winks as he spins the disc and increases the rhythm, closing his eyes as he raises a hand and hollers to his signature tune.

I sit in the dark, bay seat corner cradling my pina colada, dreaming of another time in another place when you were here. Hands on my hips swaying to the beat behind me, not quite touching but enough to tease causing a rush of heat to simmer through my body. My arm raised, snaked around the back of your neck, back moving against your toned torso. I close my eyes and sway to the DJ’s song, on my feet and creeping my way onto the floor. 

My fingers run down the side of my ribcage, across my exposed stomach as the strobe lights flicker their neon lights, I imagine your hands sneaking across my clothes and skin like they once used to. I lose myself to the tune and the heat, every beat taking away a second of my worries, I relax and let my feet and body take over. Peace washes through me as I swing my head from left to right, my hair flings and brushes past the closest body to mine. The frantic rhythm plays as my hips roll, merging myself into the crowd, a pair of stray hands capture me dragging our bodies into this exotic dance. All senses of danger elude me as I feel those hands roam up my thighs, I inhale and let this random body help me relive this daydream…”

Written by Ling Lee (09/05/13).

I love to hit the club but have never been daring enough to let a random body dance with me. I love to let the blasting beats drown out my troubles and let my body take over to the beats. The best relief in the world. If only I could hit the dance floor every night. Then all my troubles would run away with my mind. Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did when I wrote it. 

Categories: Random Thoughts, Secrets, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

‘Are You Ok?’/Darkness Awaits with Open Arms: Story Extract

“Head throbbing in a frantic beat, all energy drained from my every limb. I’m too exhausted to move, almost too tired to breathe. I squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I can to stop the tears from falling, because once it starts, I wont remember how to stop until my eyes dry out. I hate the puffy eye look, everyone can tell then they start to ask questions.

‘Are you ok?’ Such an important question yet people expect a simple ‘Yes’ to follow. Why bother asking when you don’t really want to discuss the answer? As soon as the answer is formed into any word other than ‘yes’, the poor soul who asked the question tends to visibly tense and squirm on the spot; like something has suddenly crept right under their skin. So before you voice this question, ask yourself if you are ready for the answer.

Today is a ‘Not Okay’ day. Be warned and steer clear. I don’t want to see pitiful eyes or glimmering smiles of those who think they hit the gossip jackpot. I just want to plough through this day just to crawl back into the safety of my bed. I want the darkness to join me and wrap it’s cold arms around me. I need someone or something who truly cares, even if that something is a cold and dark embrace.

I can see the darkness appear with a soul. Boney and timid, hesitating, reaching it’s skeletal black hand out, waiting for my touch. Grazing my finger, it hurriedly grasps my hand before I grow strong enough to push away it’s feral need to drain me. Every waking moment the darkness fights to contain me in it’s negative aura. Every restless suspension of consciousness allows the darkness to grow. To develop its hold until eventually it becomes a mass of black bulging muscles. Strong and imminently destroying what’s left of my will to live. The darkness smiles with a hollow, gaping hole. Giving me one last push, I fall in to it’s merciless prison where the darkness feeds on my energy. Stroking me as a reminder of it’s cold welcoming arms when nobody with a warm embrace had cared.

The darkness is always waiting with open arms for us. It has become a permanent body in my life. But sometimes I fight for the hold of a warm being, sometimes I’m strong enough to let love in, but every time it hurts, I retreat into the safe arms of my dark depression…”

Written by Ling Lee (05/05/13).

A piece of what I see when the darkness is more welcoming than the hurt of human love. I hope this piece makes you stop to think twice before you see walk away when you see pain flicker through someones eyes. Give them a big warm hug to keep them in the light and warmth of your world.

Categories: Depression, Fiction, Random Thoughts, Secrets, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | 4 Comments

Stalker on the Prowl: Story Extract

“The moment you realise that everything you have done is too little, too late. Your face falls and you feel a splintering ache resonate through your body. Like a ripple in water, the pain comes in waves, coursing through you, reminding you of every time you took her for granted. I watch you crumble and collapse into a heap on the floor. I smile as I see karma finally catch up to you. Every ounce of pain you feel, doesn’t even come close to the pain you caused her over all these months. You watch her walk away from you, for the first and the last time. She has finally come to her senses and she’s finally realised, no matter what she does for you, you will never appreciate her for who she is and how much she wants to make an impact and make a change in your life.

She should have chosen me. I’d take care of her. I’d watch her and I’d never hurt her in any of the ways you did. I like to watch her. But every time you hurt her I want to hurt you just as much. Every time you make a tear fall from her eye, I want to make you cry, I want to break you like you are breaking her.

I watch you listen to that song, blasting, every beat pounding at you, every hurtful word attacking you the way you used to hurt her. I lean back into the shadows, just as your head turns to look out the window. You never see me. You never notice. I always see you. I always see her.

You never deserved her but you deserve all the pain that you feel for hurting her. How did you never realise what she was to you? What she did for you. You know you are wrong, I’m lucky she wont even look at you any more, otherwise she would probably fall straight back into your arms again. She warned you. You never believed she would walk from you. Now I’m here to pick up the pieces.

Now I’m here to save her and make sure no one will hurt her in any way again. She loved you unconditionally until now. I see you watch her go and realise, this time she wont be looking back for you. She was yours but you never gave yourself to her. You played and cheated on her without remorse, never felt guilty when girl after girl threw themselves at you. You welcomed them all with open arms and even led them to your bed. She wanted you exclusively, apparently she’s not that kind of girl. Now you’ve realised you want her but I wont let you hurt her again. You’d better stay away from her or I will make sure you can’t take another step again. I know what you do, I know your routines, just like I know hers. She’s the one I want in my life forever. I will take care of her better than your ever did. I wont hurt her the same way you did.

She said it was too late to apologise. She was cold. Her eyes were defeated and empty. It pains me to see her like this. You broke her, you know now. You’re sorry. But sorry won’t make all the pain you made her feel go away. Sorry wont erase those nights from her life when you made her cry herself to sleep. Sorry wont make all your wrong’s right. Apparently your apologies always come too late, including this one. Now I wait for my moment to become her saviour and shoulder to cry on.

When she is mine, she will only be mine and nobody else’s. Time and patience. I have all the time in the world. She will be mine. As I check my GPS tagger, I head in that direction and I bet I will run into her at her favourite spot on the lake, where she sits with her arms wrapped round her knees and head resting on her arms. I’ll be there to protect her…”

 

Written by Ling Lee (03/05/13)

Something gives me the creeps. When you feel like someone is watching you and you never quite catch them. Every stranger in your life could be one of these dangerous people who have a need to own you, they will be so good to you, but you can never, EVER leave them.

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Honest Mistake: Story Extract

“Ry, it was so bad, you should’ve seen the look on his face.”
He laughs so hard tears spring to his eyes as he responds “Only you could do something like that K!”

Rolling my eyes at zero sympathy from my best friend, Ryan, with the additional taunts. I cross my arms and put on an all too serious face. I knew I should’ve kept my latest embarrassing moment to myself. But that’s what besties are for. Through better or for worse. We are inseparable and understand each other without a need for words. We can see something normal and look at one another then just break out into hysterical fits because we’d know what the other would’ve said. Like my current situation. I knew Ryan would die laughing but I had to tell him because at least one of us is laughing even though it’s at my expense.

Ry catches my eye, I can see him physically clamping his lips together in a miserable attempt at curbing his laughter and that’s all it takes to set him off again as he sputters his apologies in between gasping for air.

I guess my serious face doesn’t count for anything when Ryan’s involved. Even I can’t believe I did it. I was caught up in the moment. He was so close to my face looking apparently past me and not at me. We’ve sat at this coffee shop once a week for so long. We talk about the weather, talk about my princess then he said “Kiss me” so I did. Without thinking, I just leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. I inhaled ever so slightly and smelt his musky soapy scent. Then my lips brushed his cheek with my eyes closed. Then his eyes were wide open in shock as I realise he was talking to my 3year old daughter who was leaning over the table across me. Absolutely mortified I grabbed her and ran out.

So that’s why Ryan is now still dying from laughter as I sit in silence sulking about my honest mistake…”

Written by Ling Lee (18/04/13).

Did this piece work? I was just thinking about when a person likes someone and thinks about kissing them whilst they are talking at the same time. Could this really happen? Honest mistakes happen 🙂

Categories: Secrets, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

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