Random Thoughts

Fallen: Story Extract

“Battling to block out the incessant cries, sporting hooligans howling through the speakers and the bickering. My need for quiet time has long ago passed. I sit here with tears full to the brim, concentrating with all the energy I have left to stop them from spilling over. Mentally trying to keep from losing control, I count, I recite my peaceful mantra, I breathe in and out slowly. Then the screaming and whining breaks through my last barrier and all hell breaks loose.

Shrieking whirlwinds whip around me, blurring my vision until the tears mingle with my burning eyes. Despair and hatred fuse together fighting to control my life. I’m slipping deeper and deeper into the recesses of darkness and I don’t think anyone is around to hear my pleas. Crumbling into a heap on the floor, tears pour through me from the depths of my heart.

I’m not even sure if it’s the stress, or the sadness, or regret, or defeat that has finally brought me down. I don’t think I have the strength to pick myself up to try again. Every step and every turn comes with more destruction and pain for me to endure. I’m not sure this torture is worth it if my life is made up of such bad times. I just want a moment of peace and a reminder of why I should bother trying to stand tall once again…”

Written by Ling Lee (12/08/13).

Everyone looks at my exterior and no one can see past the smile etched so painfully across my face. When a tear threatens to fall, I laugh out loud and wish I could as easily wipe away my sorrows.

Categories: Depression, Random Thoughts, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | Leave a comment

The Flying Messenger: Story Extract

“A flutter of delicate wings fly across the lake. Her dainty little feet dip just below the surface, tracing an intricate pattern across the water. A dusting of sparkles fall from her wings, the sign to tell her sisters it’s safe to come out and play. She peers into the depths of the water, fidgeting in anticipation. A slight ripple of waves wash under her as her sisters rise up to the surface.

Moonlight shimmers across the lake as the rippling waves dance with the beautiful night creatures. A golden mass of hair cascades down her bare back whilst she cuts through the surface of the water to join her winged sister. With a mischievous grin she splashes and aims straight for Skyla’s translucent wings.

Darting away from the droplets of water, not wanting to spend another night sitting out from the fun, Skyla keeps her wings tucked away behind her back, dodging to the side and jumping onto a nearby rock. With her hand on one hip and a serious look on her face, she wiggles her index finger from side to side before bursting into a fit of giggles. The rest of her water sisters swim closer to join her, circling the rock that she’s sitting on.

Swimming in a jumble of arms and fins, the girls all chatter and fight for Skyla’s attention. Everyone wants to be the chosen one for a chance to walk mother nature’s earth…”

Written by Ling Lee (06/07/13).

I’m hoping to one day write more than one novel. With Faeries, Mermaids and other beautiful creatures who are all on a quest to save their realm from disappearing. They must remind human children that they exist. If no one believes in them then their species slowly but surely fall into a trance and become lost in a time of their own.

Categories: Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Growing Up Too Fast: Writing Extract

“I feel like I’ve skipped a huge chunk of my life and tried to grow up too much, too soon. At every milestone I stopped only for the briefest moment in time before rushing forward, blindfolded, head first.

I wish I could turn back time and give myself a moment more at every turn. I would have fought harder for my first love instead of accepting it as fate. I would have never let love destroy my very existence.

My passion for life faded like a burnt out candle. With a puff of smoke and a lingering fiery scent, that’s all the passion I have left to show. No more sparkle in my eyes, bounce in my step. Just a cautious eye for any change.

As a child I always wanted to grow up faster, now that I’m finally at this stage in life, I wish I could relive it all and amend my mistakes. But because life is never fair and never predictable I live on until the next good thing can bring a feeling of warmth through me once again…”

Written by Ling Lee (28/06/13).

At a dead end in life and I can’t work out how to turn around and get back on track again. This is still my journey and I am still the Lost Girl trying to find her way to her dreams.

Categories: Fiction, Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Writing Ideas | 5 Comments

Forgotten Smile: Story Extract

“I can’t remember the last time I smiled. Every moment of every day I fight to keep my sanity. The stress just keeps piling high, ready to tumble over. Sometimes I wish I could wake up and forget every experience and every memory, just for some peace and quiet.

A tear slips down my face and onto my pillow, leaving a nice dark patch on the fabric. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore. It’s too much effort to wake up with sore puffy eyes. I don’t want to pretend like there’s not a worry in my life anymore.

My life is sh*t. When nobody listens and nobody cares, I realise I made a mistake somewhere but I can’t pinpoint when my tears of laughter became tears of pain and sorrow. My days feel longer as I watch the minutes on the clock tick over and over, counting down the misery I have left to endure.

I hate to finally get home only to lay in bed alone, curled up in a pool of tears. Then I remember a day when you made me smile. Your infectious smile and your passion for life. You used to hate sleeping because you didn’t want to miss a moment. For just a few heartbeats you were solely mine. I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Then it was over and you were gone from my life, along with everything else worth smiling about. Now I lay here into the early hours of the night, trying to think of a reason to smile. The blurry image of your beautiful face appears and I smile at another memory that I will never forgot. A moment when I used to lay on your chest and listen to nothing except your heartbeat and your steady breath as you held me…”

Written by Ling Lee (11/06/13).

I wouldn’t survive another day if it wasn’t for these beautiful memories to pull me through the darkness. i just have to remember how to smile from the heart.

Categories: Depression, Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Black: Writing Extract

“Any inspiration I had has suddenly vanished to be replaced by a vast span of emptiness. Black surrounds me from head to toe. Black hair, eyebrows, shirt, fingernails, trousers and shoes. Black is what I’ve become. An entity of darkness to match my sunken moods.

I sit there staring at nothing in particular, but staring none the less. I try to conjure up anything except darkness and glimpse only the many textures of black. Shiny like newly laid tarmac, matt like a painted canvas, rough like the coals on an unlit fire.

There’s no explanation and no logical reason but it happens of its own volition. An immense void that simultaneously suffocates and drowns me. I reach with frantic, clawing hands that fail to grasp hold of anything to keep me from falling. I’ve learnt to accept it as a part of who I am.

At first it was overwhelming to be alone and you feel like nobody understands you. Then little by little you learn that no one can help you, even if they understand. They can only stick by you until you grow strong enough to drag your sorry backside back into reality…”

Written by Ling Lee (25/05/13)

I can’t focus but I’m not entirely sure why. I just know I feel physically exhausted and mentally drained. I’m waiting for the moment to pass so I can jump right back up and think in colour. I apologise for the dreary outburst but what needs to be done has been done.

Categories: Depression, Free Writing, Random Thoughts, The Darkness | Tags: , | 2 Comments

First Blood: Story Extract

“Crazed in an unstable frenzy of bundled up nerves. I’ve woken up with sensory overload. My eyes are stinging at every streak of light, scrunching them up tight, I try to cover them with my open palms. In the darkness I can hear worms wriggling through the earth, mice scurrying across floorboards, the rush of blood bursting through bodies with every beat of the heart.

I’m aware of an unbelievable thirst and find myself scampering, part running, trying to hold my body upright as I head for the first source of water echoing up the well. I trip and fall almost head first at the rough stone ridge of the well. Gripping the edge to stabilise myself, it crumbles in my hand like a digestive biscuit. I stare in awe for a split second before grabbing the handle and turning for the bucket to bring up the thirst quenching water. My throat is parched, the inner walls are so dry it feels like my throat has closed up and stuck together.

I can hear the chickens in the nearby barn, hay shuffling across the concrete floor as they ruffle their feathers to keep warm in their peaceful slumber. Desperately dehydrated, the bucket finally reaches the opening as I grab it and dunk my mouth and nose into the water, gulping like my life depended on it. I rear back and splutter, gasping for air and choking at this seemingly foreign liquid, tasting of dirt. My throat constricts as my body tenses, listening to the dull thud of every beat, pushing the blood through veins and arteries. My thoughts run wild as my hands tear at my hair, I smell the metallic tinge of iron as a clump of hair comes away in my hand. Suddenly I realise my situation, hazy memories flicker in and out of my mind. I was left for dead, but I am now awake and standing. My posture awkward, my crazy thirst driving me wild. Honed in instincts of survival kicking in as all I can hear is the blood rush and all I can smell is the metallic taste of blood.

I turn in the direction I came from sprinting as fast as I can, I burst through the barn doors, scaring the chickens into a wide eyed frenzy of beating feathers and increased heart rates. Excitement runs through me as I lick my lips and grab the nearest chicken by the legs and I feel something snap, it’s wing’s flapping at me trying to escape my grasp. All I can hear is it’s blood, teasing me with it’s warmth. Without another thought, My other hand grabs it along the neck, I tear into it’s throat, getting a mouthful of feathers. I can’t decide if I should swallow them along with the blood or stop to spit them out. My need for the blood is too strong. I can’t stop. The blood spurts at my face, down my chin, as the chicken finally stills, I realise it is dying but I continue to drink from this makeshift flask until there’s not a drop left.

Such a small animal and so little blood. I throw away the remains and reach out for the next body. This time pausing to rip out the feathers around its neck and tucking its wings into its body to make an easier meal. Somewhere into my 5th drink, I seem to have gained an ounce of control. My ears pick up a new sound, of feet shuffling across the short grass. A new delicious smell, sweet as honey, a much louder rhythm sings through her veins. I panic as I realise I’m about to drain her if she comes any closer, so I bolt out of the back of the barn and sprint like a wild animal escaping, running for my life.

I stand, shaking, staring at my hands. Seeing the bloody mess I have made. My eyes seem to be adjusting as the shadows dance in the night. I stop to listen out for the beautiful, brave woman and count slowly, hoping to stay in control…”

Written by Ling Lee (16/05/13).

My love for vampires never die. An eternal love for this immortal creature. It’s immense beauty and strengths; hearing, sight and speed. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. I’m trying to merge 2 ideas into one book.

Excitement floods into me with every word that escapes my mind. Happiness fills my being with every read and every comment you all leave for me. Many thanks for your time and support. X

Categories: Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Vampires, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

In the Club: Story Extract

“Tapping my feet in turn to the beat of the song, I’m itching to get up and do my thing on the dance floor. I watch as the sheen of sweat on their bodies sway, and snake around one another, a gentle brush here and a light touch there. Teasing and grinning at each other, the music pounding away, freeing themselves from the troubles of the day. Other bodies dance a whole different freestyle, grinding and grasping, their bodies moulded together as one. Stray eyes wander, wanting to see more of that delicate skin on display, hoping to get a dance in for themselves. 

The DJ stands, head bopping at his set, scanning the crowd relishing their enjoyment at his choice of tunes. Catching the eye of a lone girl, dancing away in the centre of the club floor, he winks as he spins the disc and increases the rhythm, closing his eyes as he raises a hand and hollers to his signature tune.

I sit in the dark, bay seat corner cradling my pina colada, dreaming of another time in another place when you were here. Hands on my hips swaying to the beat behind me, not quite touching but enough to tease causing a rush of heat to simmer through my body. My arm raised, snaked around the back of your neck, back moving against your toned torso. I close my eyes and sway to the DJ’s song, on my feet and creeping my way onto the floor. 

My fingers run down the side of my ribcage, across my exposed stomach as the strobe lights flicker their neon lights, I imagine your hands sneaking across my clothes and skin like they once used to. I lose myself to the tune and the heat, every beat taking away a second of my worries, I relax and let my feet and body take over. Peace washes through me as I swing my head from left to right, my hair flings and brushes past the closest body to mine. The frantic rhythm plays as my hips roll, merging myself into the crowd, a pair of stray hands capture me dragging our bodies into this exotic dance. All senses of danger elude me as I feel those hands roam up my thighs, I inhale and let this random body help me relive this daydream…”

Written by Ling Lee (09/05/13).

I love to hit the club but have never been daring enough to let a random body dance with me. I love to let the blasting beats drown out my troubles and let my body take over to the beats. The best relief in the world. If only I could hit the dance floor every night. Then all my troubles would run away with my mind. Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did when I wrote it. 

Categories: Random Thoughts, Secrets, Story Extract, Things I love, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

‘Are You Ok?’/Darkness Awaits with Open Arms: Story Extract

“Head throbbing in a frantic beat, all energy drained from my every limb. I’m too exhausted to move, almost too tired to breathe. I squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I can to stop the tears from falling, because once it starts, I wont remember how to stop until my eyes dry out. I hate the puffy eye look, everyone can tell then they start to ask questions.

‘Are you ok?’ Such an important question yet people expect a simple ‘Yes’ to follow. Why bother asking when you don’t really want to discuss the answer? As soon as the answer is formed into any word other than ‘yes’, the poor soul who asked the question tends to visibly tense and squirm on the spot; like something has suddenly crept right under their skin. So before you voice this question, ask yourself if you are ready for the answer.

Today is a ‘Not Okay’ day. Be warned and steer clear. I don’t want to see pitiful eyes or glimmering smiles of those who think they hit the gossip jackpot. I just want to plough through this day just to crawl back into the safety of my bed. I want the darkness to join me and wrap it’s cold arms around me. I need someone or something who truly cares, even if that something is a cold and dark embrace.

I can see the darkness appear with a soul. Boney and timid, hesitating, reaching it’s skeletal black hand out, waiting for my touch. Grazing my finger, it hurriedly grasps my hand before I grow strong enough to push away it’s feral need to drain me. Every waking moment the darkness fights to contain me in it’s negative aura. Every restless suspension of consciousness allows the darkness to grow. To develop its hold until eventually it becomes a mass of black bulging muscles. Strong and imminently destroying what’s left of my will to live. The darkness smiles with a hollow, gaping hole. Giving me one last push, I fall in to it’s merciless prison where the darkness feeds on my energy. Stroking me as a reminder of it’s cold welcoming arms when nobody with a warm embrace had cared.

The darkness is always waiting with open arms for us. It has become a permanent body in my life. But sometimes I fight for the hold of a warm being, sometimes I’m strong enough to let love in, but every time it hurts, I retreat into the safe arms of my dark depression…”

Written by Ling Lee (05/05/13).

A piece of what I see when the darkness is more welcoming than the hurt of human love. I hope this piece makes you stop to think twice before you see walk away when you see pain flicker through someones eyes. Give them a big warm hug to keep them in the light and warmth of your world.

Categories: Depression, Fiction, Random Thoughts, Secrets, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | 4 Comments

The Woman at the Bakery Store: Story Extract

“Standing outside peering into the glass counter, an assortment of delicious pastries and buns entice me.  The sweet smells of sugar, eggs and flour make my mouth water with want. There’s too many to choose from and I want a piece of each and every flavour; plain, coffee, vanilla, green tea, mango, strawberry and more. At times like these I realise my stomach can’t hold nearly enough food as I would like it to, but I also hate wasting food so choices must be made.

A commotion to my immediate left disturbs me from my current enchantment. My mind wanders back into reality where everything isn’t merely sweet and beautiful. To my horror a very large, elderly lady has fallen over so I rush over to her side to help put her back on her feet. I leave my pastries behind for a moment and take hold of her by the elbow and arm. She struggles against me and pulls her arm from my touch, clutching her handbag with all her might.  I feel a tug at my heart and a swelling in my throat as I realise this old lady thinks I am trying to rob her. I keep trying to help her as I watch her struggle like an upside down turtle. A tear wells in my eyes and threatens to fall. A nearby shop own comes out with a chair and looks me over before realising I am trying to help the old lady and had no intentions of harming her.

What is this world coming to? I kind hearted gesture being misunderstood and ill thought of. I take the elderly woman by one elbow and arm, the shop owner grasps her by the other. Together we help her into the chair as she cries, white knuckles clenched, still clutching ever so tightly to her bag. She sits there panting heavily gasping for breath. She keeps trying to get up from the chair instead of steadying herself and taking time to recover. It’s so sad to see that no one else in the street could be bothered to stop and help her. The shop owner only came out to help because the woman fell over in front of her store and was blocking her shop entrance.

A world without compassion and kind heartedness. I am disheartened and no longer feel like eating. The lump in my throat has grown larger and my appetite has suddenly diminished as I watch the old lady hobble away in obvious pain. Without so much as a word of thanks or acknowledgement, she turns the corner and struggles on without help.”

Written by Ling Lee (27/04/13).

There’s so many dark souls. It hurts to know there is so little faith in others. There’s so much terror and badness in this world it’s eye opening to see things like this happen. I hope everyone will stop and help someone in need today, or any day. Let’s all help make the world a better place, one at a time. Thank you for reading and have a nice day to you all.

Categories: Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Writing Ideas | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Beauty in the Park: Story Extract

“Wearing a peach coloured summer dress, I walk across the park and follow the cemented route without veering onto the grass. My golden strappy sandals wont agree too much if my feet aren’t standing on solid ground where I can see what I’m stepping on. I keep to my side of the path and consciously scan the park to see if he’s here again. No luck so far. I can’t decide if I should keep walking in this direction or turn back round and wear out this part of the path along with my ‘not made for walking’ shoes. Whilst I was thinking, I must have carried on walking because I have wandered around the bend and there he is again looking even more amazing than he did yesterday. I wonder if he will catch my eye today, or if I will be lucky enough for him to stop and say hi so we can swap pleasantries about today’s lovely sunny weather and maybe even discuss another subject alongside that.

He’s out walking his beautiful grey husky and playing fetch. Right now he’s stopped to ruffle the fur above its’ head as it nuzzles into his hand. I’m guessing it’s a she-dog. I don’t like to use the proper term with the “B” word because that word is too commonly used in reference to nasty girls who don’t keep their hands, mouths, and under dressed bodies to themselves. That “B” word is too harsh a word to describe this beautiful dog I wish I had the good fortune to see more of.

I can feel a light breeze and hope that maybe, just as he turns and sees me on my daily, so called ‘stroll in the park’, the wind might pick up just a fraction and whisk my hair into a golden frenzy and fan out across my shoulders. I’d be one of those captured moments on a ‘Country Life’ magazine.

To my good luck and fulfilled silent wish, the wind sure picks up. The husky towards me pulling her owner along with her. I’m just about to strike my ‘model standing still and looking nonchalant pose’ when the wind whips my hair across my face. I turn my head and hope my untied hair will cooperate and fan out across my shoulders the way it was supposed to. Shaking my head from side to side, frustration hits me and I feel a spell of dizziness join me. The husky and owner are getting close enough to be within talking distance soon and I’m not ready to face him today. With my mouthful of hair and the wind threatening to expose my panties to everyone in the park, I don’t know if I should be keeping my hair out of my face or holding my dress down with both hands to keep my dignity.

The beautiful blue eyed husky has apparently seen something of great interest and has suddenly started running in my direction. I turn to get out of it’s way just as someone on a bike passes forcing me to stay on my side of the path. Before I know it I’ve been knocked onto the grass, my elbow is unbelievably sore, my forearm grazed and I think I could quite possibly have skidded across the grass a few inches; definitely across my buttocks and right thigh.

This was not worth it. I try to get up and realise my butt hurts too much so I stay put for a few seconds. I lower my forehead so that it rests on my knees that are now drawn up close to my body. These embarrassing things only happen to people in movies and obviously to me. I was supposed to be the picture perfect model and now I can barely show my face. Lucky no one recognised me. I gingerly attempt to get up. I hear footsteps running by and a voice shout “I’m so sorry my Wolfy knocked you over.”

I cringe as I realise he’s come back for me. I guess I got my other wish fulfilled. He’s kneeling right here and talking to me about something other than the weather. I should be grateful but I just feel my heated cheeks burn up in embarrassment at my flailing arms and pathetic scream replay itself in my head…”

Written by Ling Lee (25/04/13).

I was trying out a little bit of fun again. I was walking home the other day and saw this scene play out in my head. I thought I’d try to capture the moment and get it into words on a page for you lovely readers. Hope you like this one. I hope it had it’s intended effect. If you made it this far, I hope it made you smile because I’m sure it wasn’t what you were expecting to read. Enjoy the sun because no doubt it wont last long. Many thanks for reading my work. Comments are very much welcome whether they be positive or negative. Thanks again.

Categories: Fiction, Random Thoughts, Story Extract, Uncategorized, Writing Ideas | Tags: , | 1 Comment

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