Drained: Story Extract

“Euphoric relief settles upon me as I direct my pent up emotions straight at the bag. Every punch brings an image of his mocking face to surface. I aim straight for his face with a right hook connecting dead centre. His taunting insults fuel my anger as my leg connects with the bag and the image of him bent over, doubled up in pain as satisfaction washes over me. I smile and dodge as the bag swings back at me.

It’s such a shame I’m not confrontational, otherwise I wouldn’t be in my current mess. As a daily routine, I escape my torturous life by beating this bag with all my heart. Every ounce of energy is thrown at it until I drop to my knees with sweat rolling off my forehead.

Every night I train myself to be better, to be stronger. Once my energy is  drained I feel the rush of adrenaline finally subside. Then the empty, hollow feeling returns, until the next time he reminds me how lucky I am to be his. The sad truth is I still believe him even though I can’t remember why…”

Written by Ling Lee (21/04/13).

I started out hoping to write a happier piece but it seems my mind has led me elsewhere yet again. Rather than to fight the words, I let my mind wander and the letters escape from me onto the page. I hope someday soon I can be writing endless happy extracts instead of the more serious topics I have covered. Be strong! 

Categories: Depression, Emotions, Fiction, Story Extract, The Darkness, Writing Ideas | Tags: | 2 Comments

Back on Track: Writing continues…

Thank you for reminding me that I have wanted to be a writer since forever. (You know who you are!)

Getting sidetracked from your dreams is like giving up hope. Sometimes life’s problems, struggles and obstacles get in the way. Some days you feel too tired to get up and you just want to stay curled up in a ball under the duvet where it’s safe and warm.

Today I was lucky to have a friend remind me to keep my dream alive. Some days you just need a few words of encouragement to help drag you through the tough time(s).

Keep trying, keep fighting and keep working towards your dreams! No
one can make it happen but yourself, so never give up! Stay strong! Together we will walk this path, and together we can make our dreams come true 🙂

Categories: Books, Emotions, Random Thoughts | Tags: , | Leave a comment

A poem (untitled)

Clawing to escape this body
My soul screams a silent plea
Blinded by self destruction
I have no control

Piercing pain pounds through my temple
Threatening to restrain me
A feeble cry for help is made
Unheard, you are not there

When agony strangles the hope inside
I let the darkness over ride
Today I have no strength to fight
But tomorrow, tomorrow I might.

Not really sure where this came from but sometimes the darkness takes over. I’m fine, but something just made me feel like I was supposed to write this today.

For me, this is to remind people it’s ok to admit defeat. You can’t stand tall every single day of your life and beat everything that stands in your way.
Sometimes you just have to admit that you have fallen but tomorrow you can get right back up and try again.

Categories: Emotions, Poetry, The Darkness | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Poem: Winter Lovers

Raindrops falling, sun is hiding
Grey clouds fill the winter sky

Leaves are rustling, branches shaking
Strong winds rush between the trees

Outdoor walking, tears are falling
Sadness makes me head back home

Phone is ringing, you are calling
On the doorstep there you are

No more sulking, no more crying
All is right when you are mine

Indoor heating, fire blazing
Snug and cosy, you with me

Girls is smiling, boy is laughing
Life should always be like this

Categories: Emotions, Poetry, Seasons | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Blog off

Not really feeling the love. Feel like logging off and taking a day out of life and just hiding under the duvet until I get bored.

Should blogging be just personal or is it supposed to be all for the reader?

Some days I feel like it should be me, me, me. But then as I stand today, I am still a nobody in this world trying to make a name and a dream come true.

Today I wish I were writing for any and all readers. But I still fear coyright issues. I also realise that any work and material I ever hope to use for publication must be “first time use” and “never seen before”, so that makes my journey all the more difficult.

With no excerpts out for sample and no real material even close for publication, I have a long, long way to go.

My aim is still to keep blogging on a hopefully regular basis. At least this shows dedication even if I achieve nothing else for a while.

I am hoping to have a routine in place in the near future so that I can sit, or lie around and write without interruptions. Just me, my pen and my notebook that I hate making mistakes in.

I love writing with pen and paper but it’s just not practical to have to type up all the words again when I decide that I want to use it.

Today’s blog was all me having a go at free writing but I just couldn’t help myself and had to correct a little here and a little there.

Nothing useful but it’s better than allowing myself to even consider letting go of my dream. Must. Keep. Writing.

Blog on 😀

Categories: Emotions | 1 Comment

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

Why is it when you try to be there for someone, you turn out to be the only person they don’t need. Or the one person you wish would be there for you forever is always the one that lets you down?

Don’t let that person get you down. No one deserves to be hurt by someone they care for. Sometimes it can hurt so much you wish that you never existed, but never forget the good times because they will come around again.

When someone hurts you, remember the pain, learn from it. Every experience in life can make you a better person, you just need to stay strong and fight to make things right again.

Turn to the one who wants to listen because they care, and not the one that just wants to gossip.

Live to fight another day and smile because tomorrow is a new day.

Categories: Emotions | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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