“Every waking moment I feel a huge void in my chest. The emptiness just eats away at me and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I just want to be completely alone in total silence, without people, or birds or even the wind to distract me.
Engulfed by this dark aura, draining my will to live. I can hear it’s metallic tinkle of a laugh, mocking my existence. Waiting patiently to claim my lost soul. I’m drifting in frustration because there is still one thing left to live for, but the bad outweigh the good times so I’m not sure if my battle is worth fighting for.
Every sound is breaking me. The banging from the neighbour’s garden work is driving me insane. I want to head over and smack her with the shovel. I can feel the blood rushing through my veins, pumping and urging me to do it. I can see the darkness embrace me, welcoming me with open arms into it’s realm.
Every word that comes out of his mouth makes me want to sew his lips together so he can never upset me again. The darkness gives me a shove, encouraging me to act out my malicious thoughts. I hold on to my sense of morality and slowly count to 10. I hope the darkness passes, before I hurt one of those who have been making my life hell.
I still know what is right and what’s wrong, but it seems like everyone likes to balance and teeter in between. Soon I will fall one way or the other. It’s a shame good things just don’t like to come my way…”
Written by Ling Lee (17/07/13).
The darkness must be a wonderful place to be. When you no longer have to fight with the devil in you. But to laugh and to do as you please to anyone or anything who stands in your way.
I’m not sure if this means I’m becoming more lost by the day. Or if this is where my work likes to lead me. On a quest to fight the darkness and to emerge a better person, a better writer and a better soul.