“In a drugged up haze of cough mixtures, throat sweets and paracetamol. His eyelids fight to stay open, forehead streaked with his sweaty fringed hair, in this state he still looks handsome.
I smile inwardly and wish I could take away a little of his suffering. It’s funny how men act all brave and mighty, then the flu brings them down hard on both knees. It’s nice to be needed. With a warm flannel, I wipe his forehead and face.
I love the way his jaw relaxes and his lips part just a fraction. I can see the tip of his tongue resting on his lower lip, I long for his kiss. I watch my gentle giant sleep, the only time he ever stays still is when he’s fast asleep. I love to listen to his steady breaths, not quite a snore, but long heavy breaths. I watch his chest rise and fall. Placing my hand just above his heart, I feel the peaceful rhythm thump under my palm. I love lying on his chest, listening to the beat, having him to myself for just a moment more.
He takes a sudden staggered breath and curls up beside me. I stroke his hair and lean in to smell his musky scent, without all the sweet cologne he favours. I love the way he smells. I love the way he makes me feel all giddy and warm. He makes me feel alive and excited, his unpredictable, fun loving nature brings out the child in me. Everything about him is all about the present, there’s no need to think of the past and no time to think of the future. I’m lucky enough to have found the love of my life. I kiss his cheek and wrap his arms around me, cherishing each and every moment with my beloved…”
Written by Ling Lee (11/06/13).
The feelings in this piece are from a major part of my life. This extract is all about the love I felt, the warmth and the goodness because that’s all I let myself remember. My reason to smile.