“Struck by a feeling of relief when I realised I don’t love you after all. You can never hurt me, never command me and never make me wish for more again.
I can breathe without you, laugh without you and live without you. It was never meant to be you.
But only a few moments without you I feel the emptiness take over. The darkness roaming in. My smile is but a front. Forced upon my face where the effort isn’t enough to reach my eyes. My face strains and the tears threaten to fall and they are no longer falling for you. I wander in a daze through the minutes that merge into hours that make up this terrible day of which I am fighing to get through.
I sigh in hope of drawing a deeper breath. But oxygen struggles to reach my lungs. My shallow breaths ring empty and silent just like my mind. What is life without loving you, remembering you, hoping for you.
I am but a shell of a body, a ghost of existence, floating through time in search for the one who will bring me back to this world. To want to live, to need to breathe, to smile from a place deep within my heart.
When you walked out of my life you took with me my will to live. Now that I have let go of your love, I am just a body, void of emotion, claimed by the darkness. Eventually forgotten in time…”
Written by Ling Lee (07/04/13).
This piece started out positive. I hate when I get dragged into the darkness as my writing progresses. It seems like this is who I am. Deep within me the darkness grows and I live day by day, in a fight to stay in the light.