“Golden rays filter through the window blinds. The warmth radiates across my bare legs as I lay on the bed enjoying this rare peaceful moment. I love looking up at the sky. Whether it be a moonlit night or the purple fused orange skies, everytime I look up I take a deep breath and sigh away my troubles.
My mind wanders off into a place where I used to be so free and wild, happy and young. When his fingers would trace random patterns across my face and jaw whilst I held his undivided attention as his eyes locked with mine. We used to spend our days lost in a world where only the two of us existed. No pain, no stress and no worries.
I held on to these moments but they kept me enchanted in the past and I could never move forward. Today something feels different, it stopped being us. Today I realised it’s just me now.
It’s a terrifying thought to be alone, without his arms to catch me when I fall. Without his hand to hold mine and guide me through the days. Without his reassuring smile to remind me that everything will be ok.
Today it’s just myself I can rely on. I’m afraid of making the wrong choices because then it’s only my fault. But I gaze up at the sky filled with wispy clouds and its beautiful glow, then I tell myself that it’ll be ok. The golden light gives me hope and the strength to move on and live a life that was never ment to include him. I need to live and breath and experience the world, with a hope of meeting the one who was ment to be for me.”