“Pain and frustration etched into the lines of her face. She stands immobilised with her mind caught in a memory, taking her to a different place to where she is staring.
A tear escapes the corner of her eye, down the side of her face. She doesn’t move an inch. I watch in agonised silence because no matter what I say or how I hold her, I cannot bring her mind to join us in the present moment.
I lean myself awkwardly against her still, standing form. I rest my cheek against her tear stained face, my tears mingle into hers, wishing I could take away the pain that I caused in her life.
No amount of regret will make things better for her. Now I live everyday in guilt as I watch her pained expressions with her mind caught in another time and a different place.
I should never have pushed her this far. Should have seen the struggles she endured, long before she lost her mind. I should have been the one to make her happy but instead my mistake has crushed us. Now, every day I wish I could turn back time, undo my wrongs, go back to before the day she caught me betray her.
Today, I stay by her side. I realise what’s important in my life and I hope she will one day forgive me and free me of my never ending regret for the pain that I’ve caused. But for now I live the results I have created, say a silent prayer, and thank the stars that today has been one of her good days…”
Written by Ling Lee (23/02/13).
Late into the night, I take one step back and feel like my life is heading in the wrong direction. It’s sad but it happens to each and every one of us.
But I remind myself, my dreams are still within reach. I can still create my new tomorrow if only I take a chance and take the other path…
I’ll leave off here. Exhaustion is claiming me as my eyes burn from tiredness. This night is exceptionally cold, I hope this feeling of illness washes over me once I get some much needed sleep. To a better tomorrow!