“Not even a goodbye as I try to grasp hold of his fingers one last time, he twists his hand free and walks away. I crumple to the floor knowing he’s never going to be a part of my life again. He’s taken a big piece of my sanity with him as well as leaving a big, empty void in my heart.
I’m completely numb and can’t feel a thing. It’s like when you go to the dentist and they give you that scary looking anesthetic. Then you feel nothing, absolutely nothing as you wonder what they are doing in your mouth. Like how I wonder what is happening to my heart. There’s no tears, no pain, no screaming, no nothing. Just plain emptiness.
I lie in bed all dry eyed and wide awake. I don’t even have the energy to twist or turn. I just look out the window in a daze. Not even the moon is out to shed me a little light. Today I really have hit my lowest of all lows. Today I feel like I have died and left behind a shell of a body that just exists without a soul.
What is life without love?”
Written by Ling Lee (15/02/13).
Now that Valentine’s Day is over and done with, I can resume my normal style of deep, dark, depression.
When you reflect on moments in your life, there’s always at least one moment when you feel absolutely devastated. This moment always creeps up on you unexpectedly and destroys you all over again, every single time.
There’s one or two in my life who made a difference. It’s excruciating when they step out of my life, but so intensely wonderful when they come back into my life and act like nothing ever changed.
But this is for me. A reminder that although this is one of my weaker pieces of writing, I am writing none the less, through the soul less body that is finding my way back to what’s worth fighting for in life.